Pens In Unison

 

Breath

 

In a single intake of breath, I can smell the universe.

 

I can taste its tears and hear its cries for expansion. I can feel its neverending tales of life and death, and the trials that come with experiencing its full-throttle blast of love and curiosity. It’s something I never want to forget, a feeling and rush of emotion that I want to experience forever— and yet, as I breathe the essense of the worlds, it’s the greatest pain to ever imagine.

 

The miseries of all who inhabit their lands seep into my skin, and stitch complex circles of agony into my tissues; their voices, crying for relief, sobbing for comfort from something greater than what they know replay between my eardrums. It’s an endless cycle of screams and whimpers from horrors I cannot imagine. I feel helpless, but cringe just as they do, sensing their fear and shivering as it mixes within my bloodstream and fires incessantly within my mind.

 

I smell blood as the air passes through my nose, and ash and dirt and contaminants from another time entirely. It burns like fire, and my fingers tense, reluctant to accept the stench as part of the rest of their person. It’s foreign, unwelcome, and my body is confused as to why it returns, again and again.

 

But as that breath is tainted with the sorrows of life, it is also bound tightly with the hopes, the dreams, and the spirits of those who believe in a greater existence. 

 

Those who smile and embrace the sunlight and the shine of the stars, who assume that all is not as it seems— that there is meaning in everything, there is laughter where none seems to be found, and miracles are nothing more than the effort put into making them happen.

 

There is something beautiful in the light that shines from these individuals.

 

And they are why I continue to breathe.

 

Eternity

 

”..You can’t do that. No one can.”

 

He turned and looked me in the eyes, his own narrowed slightly, as if confused by my words. His dark stance and clothing combined with his sudden defensive air made me swallow nervously, but I knew I had to go on. This needed to be said.

 

"You can’t promise forever. Not for sure. I’ve heard it over and over and over…" I trailed off, pulling my knee closer to my chest and resting my chin on it; my gaze fell to the floor, tracing the lines that made up the tiles beneath our feet. "And each time it was a lie. All of them. I stopped believing after a while; it seemed pointless to keep getting my hopes up when all they ever did was crash to the ground.. but that’s a law of science, isn’t it? What goes up must come down?"

 

My humor didn’t faze him; instead, his shoulders fell and he laid down the blade he was working on, moving aside the polishing materials and clearing a spot on the table. I lifted my head at the sound of his movement, and was suddenly greeted with the warmth of his hands lifting me from my seat and into the air. He set me down once more onto the table and supported himself with his hands as he leaned forward and peered into my face, breath rolling quietly onto my lips as he spoke.

 

"I told you, back when all of this started. I told you I’d never leave. That I was forever.” Here he pulled away and brushed a lock of hair from my face, stroking the mark on my cheek with his thumb, “When I gave you this, it wasn’t just because. It wasn’t for a cheap thrill. My kind doesn’t play games when it comes to love.”

 

My heart jolted. Love? He’d never said it before, not so casually…

 

"You’re a part of me now. My everything. My mind and my body and my soul."

 

His fingers moved across my face and rested on my lips, tracing them gingerly, and although I couldn’t meet his gaze, too focused on leveling my breathing and ignoring my brain’s call of close warm comfort heat, I knew his eyes were scanning my expression, every inch of my countenance. 

 

"Look at me," he said, and I did, obeying his suddenly quiet voice.

 

"I am everything. I am eternity."

 

I tilted my head, eyes softening, and his lips met mine in perfect complement.

 

Eternity.. that’s forever.

Falling

 

His eyes closed and the wind rushed past his cheeks, gravity shoving behind him and forcing him towards the ground, faster and faster and faster— 

 

Months before, he’d been a happy man, had a happy life and marriage and job and home. He’d laughed and smiled and drank and loved and caught himself in a mess of bliss, always with the center of his existence under his arm, with her laughter and smile and beauty—

 

Weeks before, he’d first discovered it was fake, all of it, and all along. He’d been the other, the alternative, the second option, the blind caretaker. He’d drank and wasted away and broken off and found himself swirling into the depths of himself, taunting the ugliest parts of his psyche to the surface and reflecting on his life what was raging within him—

 

Days before, he was alone and sobbing, dirty and homeless and without a chance to go on. Everyone seemed hateful and full of spite, a helping hand was nowhere to be found. Where had it all gone? Why had it all suddenly disappeared? ..Maybe it was him. He’d thought it was him. Knew it was him, it had to be—

 

Hours before, he’d been trekking alone, just as he’d grown accustomed to, and felt the breeze tickle his vision towards the sky. The clouds were folding into themselves and the light of the day was disappearing— and it first struck him how easy it would be. How quick and painless. Everyone would be left to clean up the mess the world had made him— yes, that’s it, everyone else—

 

Moments before now, he thought, parting his lips and ignoring the pounding of his heartbeat in his ears, as his body’s defenses sprang and told him to stop, stop, stop—

 

Moments before now, he was breathing. Taking in the smells of the city and accepting that they were all he had left; his senses. Or had he lost those, too?

 

Moments after now, he would—

 

He’d—

 

He would—

 

His eyes reopened, foggy from the adrenaline coursing through his veins; the sight of the concrete flashed through his mind and he parted his lips to cry out, suddenly fearful of the dark and pleading with whoever would listen, listen, listen— listen, no, I don—!!